Kids Say The Cutest Things

Monday night I offered to watch one of my 10 nieces, she's 5 years old. I have a fourteen and a seventeen year old sons and they were totally entertained by their little cousin that night. First, when we were getting ready to eat supper, one of my boys asked me what we were having. I said rigatoni and meatballs. What, my little niece asked staring at the plate I had just placed before her, looks an awful lot like pasta to me. That began a dinner full of laughter! While eating dinner, they began asking her little questions - how old are you, what grade are you in, etc. (even though they already knew the answers). Soon one asked her if she was ever going to get married and she said yes. Well, how old will you be when you get married and she promptly said 22. Oh, they said - how many kids are you going to have? 9 she said, taking another bite of pasta. Well, how many girls and how many boys? Well, she said thinking, I'll have 100 girls and 100 boys. My boys were practically choking on their food now. Wow, they said, what kind of car are you going to drive? A van like you, she said looking at me. Oh, I said, I drive an expedition. One of the boys asked her where she'd put them all....well, she said, whoever doesn't fit on a sit will be shoved into the back where I'll put groceries. Again, laughter filled the dining room. Ok, so where will you live, my fourteen asked her. I'm going to live in Nana's house (that's my mother - her grandmother) after she dies. Well, needless to say - we all were giggling so hard and there she sat, straight faced and looking at us as if we were nuts. Ok, so who are you going to marry, one asked her. Brian she said with a smile. Oh, and how old is Brian? Well, she said, putting down her fork and putting her hands together under her chin, he was just 5 when he was in pre-school, but now he is 7. Oh, my boys chimed. Yes I know, she said giggling herself, he's an older boy. After this comment, she gently pushed her food away saying she was full. Just thinking about this conversation makes me laugh outloud even though it's been a few days. My boys thoroughly enjoyed this banter and their laughter still rings whenever one of them wills say to the other....remember what Sydney said...... I think too they were slightly surprised by the way she answered some of their questions as if she were older and wiser than her years. Laughter, there is no better medicine!!!!!

The Cell Phone Connection

I saw on the news the other day the report about how college kids are just not "letting go" of their home life, ie parents. They stated that, according to physicologist, too many of our college kids are being damaged by the fact that they can call home, several times a day, using their cell phones and that the "break" away from their home lives is not happening like it should. What!?! What are they talking about? The "experts" say that we are not doing our college aged kids any good by being constantly available to them. They will have so many problems on their own if we, as parents, don't limit the amount of time we communicate with our children! Give me a freakin' break! Oh, wow, in times where we struggle to keep communication open with those we care about, we are now being told, as communicators, to keep our mouths shut. I'm sorry but if my college aged daugher, and I have one and a son who will be in college fall of 2006, wants to call me several times a day to let me know how she's doing, when she's excited about an achievement, when she's distressed or down about something difficult, when she's began a new special relationship with that cute boy, I will never and I repeat NEVER tell her that she's called me too much or that she needs to deal with these issues on her own. I very rarely call her because I figure she will let me know when she wants to what's up in her life. I call occasionally to say hi if I haven't heard from her in a few days, but that's probably only happened once in the two years she's been away. She, on countless times, has said how much she appreciates the fact that she can call me at any time and that I actually CARE about what's going on in her life. I don't drill her about her life, I figure if she wants to tell me about it she will. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don't insult my intelligence by tell me that too much communication from my college student via any means is somehow damaging to them as they begin their lives away from home. (Now we wonder why we have so many young adults who have trouble communicating to employeers, their spouses, families, friends, etc. They are going to "professionals" who help them cope and learn to communicate better! UNBELIEVABLE! As far as I'm concerned, anyone I care about is free to call me anytime they want to for any reason and I will never tell them they are talking to me too much!

Stay At Home Mom

Before and after I was married, (my husband is from the Bronx) my job was very important to me. I would work hard, eat my lunch at my desk, try for promotions (estactic when I got it, depressed when I didn't). Even though I come from a large family (Catholic not LDS) and my family is very important to me, my work "friends" (or extended family) were very important to me also. After I had my first baby girl, I continued to work. It was difficult, but we needed every bit of money. My husband worked for the department of defense and layoffs/budgeting became a nightmare for him. Two years later, we had a son, even though we were better off than before, I went back to work. I dreaded every moment I was away from my two children, the only positive is that my sister was babysitting them. When my third and last baby came along, I decided to quit. Like so many other working mom's, I realized that my career was motherhood, and my job was just a way to bring in some extra cash. It was hard, but my husband made enough money to provide for us if we were careful and I never regretted that decision EVER! I was chided by my "work friends" for a while, but I brushed their comments aside and listed to my heart. I was a stay at home mom for 13 years. I went back to work when my daughter started college and my youngest was 11. It was a very difficult thing to do but we sat down as a family and discussed it together. I think my children being part of the decision making was the best thing we did. At least they felt they had a say in what was happening to their world. I am working now. I began working full time and after a year, asked if I could get off at 4pm instead of 5pm so that I could get home earlier to spend some quality time with my kids. After a year of working that schedule, I realized that I needed to make an additional change. My second child will be going to college this fall 2006 and my fourteen year old son (who can't get around because he can't drive yet) was still so dependent on someone to help him get to practices, school, community service projects, etc. I spoke with my employeer about 8 months before I would have to go part time (at least leave by 2pm) in order to accomplish all I needed to. At first they didn't really like the idea. As time got closer, I was completely honest with them and told them that on January 4, 2006, I will be working part time and if not for them, then I would have no choice but to find somewhere else that would work with my schedule. I showed support that I could do the job in less time and they realized that it just might work. Whala! It does. I now work from 8am to 2pm and after that I'm my kids mom! I pick my son and his buddies up from school and take them to practices, I never missed a parent/teacher conference but now instead of going at 7pm, I can get there as soon as it begins and get back home in a very short time. My son knows I'm there to check homework, know where he's at after school, able to be at all his performances, etc. I was there for the other two (because I wasn't working) and now I'm able to be there for him. Knowing all I do, I would love to be a stay at home mom again even though my kids are growing up! I have nothing but respect and admiration for mothers who make the decision to have their children be their careers and to those of you who can't but would love too - keep searching for ways to make it work. For those of you who think we stay at home moms are crazy - where's the looney bin because I'm jumpimg in!