Stay At Home Mom

Before and after I was married, (my husband is from the Bronx) my job was very important to me. I would work hard, eat my lunch at my desk, try for promotions (estactic when I got it, depressed when I didn't). Even though I come from a large family (Catholic not LDS) and my family is very important to me, my work "friends" (or extended family) were very important to me also. After I had my first baby girl, I continued to work. It was difficult, but we needed every bit of money. My husband worked for the department of defense and layoffs/budgeting became a nightmare for him. Two years later, we had a son, even though we were better off than before, I went back to work. I dreaded every moment I was away from my two children, the only positive is that my sister was babysitting them. When my third and last baby came along, I decided to quit. Like so many other working mom's, I realized that my career was motherhood, and my job was just a way to bring in some extra cash. It was hard, but my husband made enough money to provide for us if we were careful and I never regretted that decision EVER! I was chided by my "work friends" for a while, but I brushed their comments aside and listed to my heart. I was a stay at home mom for 13 years. I went back to work when my daughter started college and my youngest was 11. It was a very difficult thing to do but we sat down as a family and discussed it together. I think my children being part of the decision making was the best thing we did. At least they felt they had a say in what was happening to their world. I am working now. I began working full time and after a year, asked if I could get off at 4pm instead of 5pm so that I could get home earlier to spend some quality time with my kids. After a year of working that schedule, I realized that I needed to make an additional change. My second child will be going to college this fall 2006 and my fourteen year old son (who can't get around because he can't drive yet) was still so dependent on someone to help him get to practices, school, community service projects, etc. I spoke with my employeer about 8 months before I would have to go part time (at least leave by 2pm) in order to accomplish all I needed to. At first they didn't really like the idea. As time got closer, I was completely honest with them and told them that on January 4, 2006, I will be working part time and if not for them, then I would have no choice but to find somewhere else that would work with my schedule. I showed support that I could do the job in less time and they realized that it just might work. Whala! It does. I now work from 8am to 2pm and after that I'm my kids mom! I pick my son and his buddies up from school and take them to practices, I never missed a parent/teacher conference but now instead of going at 7pm, I can get there as soon as it begins and get back home in a very short time. My son knows I'm there to check homework, know where he's at after school, able to be at all his performances, etc. I was there for the other two (because I wasn't working) and now I'm able to be there for him. Knowing all I do, I would love to be a stay at home mom again even though my kids are growing up! I have nothing but respect and admiration for mothers who make the decision to have their children be their careers and to those of you who can't but would love too - keep searching for ways to make it work. For those of you who think we stay at home moms are crazy - where's the looney bin because I'm jumpimg in!